TOYS.If you are a parent, they are in every crevice of your house, your cars, and probably your pockets too! I would safely bet that you've stepped on one cursing its name...plus a few other colorful words. So how do we stop the madness? How do we keep them {relatively} organized? Today I will be sharing 5 tips to organizing toys in your home! Lets start by defining a toy. Toys are anything a child plays with. A sock can literally be a toy. As we discuss organization, I want to clarify what I mean by toys. To me, toys are things like action figures, battery operated toys, dolls, and trinkets -> think McDonalds toys. More often than not our kids have more toys than they can honestly play with, much less want to play with. I feel with toys that less is more. Open-ended toys like wood blocks, legos, magnet tiles, bristle blocks, marble runs, and items like art supplies make up some of the best basic toys for children. Puzzles and games are some other great options, as well. Check out this blog post where I share our Top 5 most used toys for some inspiration! So let's delve into how to keep your child's toys organized! 1. Play the "Keep, Give, Toss" Game "Keep, give, toss" refers to the process of controlling toy inventory. I suggest playing this game twice a year, ideally right before birthdays and holidays. If your family does not celebrate the holidays, birthdays work just as well. This will be the first year we actively include S in this game since she will soon be 3. As the holidays approach, I will set out 3 boxes with the mentioned labels and sort through the toys we own using the following rules: Keep- These are toys your child regularly plays with, has an attachment to, or recently received. Give- These are well loved toys that do not see much use anymore but are in decent condition or toys that never really got much use. **trinkets** Toss- Is the toy or game missing parts or pieces? Is it broken or dirty? Toss it! Keep in mind, this will not come easily for your child, at first, but assure them that they are helping other children and bringing them joy by donating toys they no longer want or play with. Meeting resistance? If your child is hesitant to give up a toy , or 3, that you know they no longer play with, give it a few days. If they don't touch it, mention your observation and invite them to consider donating it again. You may also mention that in order to make room for the new toys they will receive, they must donate or toss an old one! 2. Utilize a shelf or cubby system for display I cannot tell you the number of times I have seen toys stored on shelves or cubbies, crammed in bins or loosely on a shelf. If this is you, IT IS OK! No judgement! But, I have an idea for you! If you have the room, consider buying another cubby system or shelf for toys currently being used. If space is limited, as it is with ours, try reorganizing a closet or garage space for some toy storage {blog post coming on that soon!} and utilize the shelf/cubbies you already have. Hopefully, once you play the "Keep, Give, Toss" game you will not have as much to store. We are currently using shelves like these in S' closet. Placing toys on a shelf or cubby instead of bins helps to provide a clean, organized system for your child(ren). Here is S' current toy cubby in her room. I will explain the how and why I set up her toys in my next suggestion. 3. Only place ONE toy or game per cubby/ TWO per shelf Children have a natural sense of order. I can see your eyebrow raised. And for those of you laughing, I thought the same thing not too long ago, also. I want you to think back to when your child was very young, around 18mo or so. For those of you with children around this age, take note of what I am going to share. Children around this age have a natural tendency for order. You might notice them group things by color or size. You may see them line up cars or blocks. You may notice they throw a tantrum when dad gets or does something mom is supposed to. They might complain when they don't get the same breakfast every morning, no matter how many times you offer the healthier options and varieties. Does your child lose it when the bedtime routine is not the same? How many times have you read "insert child obsessed book here?" All of these examples speak to a child's natural sense of order. So when we provide children toys, they crave a sense of order. Whether you are looking at S' toy shelf or her "work" shelf, you will only find ONE activity per cubby. Not only does it look nice, it has some benefits. Placing one item per shelf
I will be the first to admit that her shelf does not always look organized or tidy. She will not always put away toys in the right place and she will even add a few more toys to a cubby. Hey- nobodies perfect and plus, she is 2, we are learning! 4. Rotate - Differentiate Have you ever gone to the grocery store to get one of your go-to products only to find it is not on the shelf? So you ask the grocery clerk if they have any in the back? She/He comes back with your product and in that moment, you are so happy to see it again and cannot wait to get home to use it. This is basically how children feel when they see toys they have not played with in a while. Leaving all of their toys in one place to see constantly creates a sense of complacency. #1- Seeing them out all of the time causes them to lose their allure. Hence the phrase "Mom! I have nothing to play with. All these toys are boring!" #2- Having so many options can be overwhelming causing them to not want to play with any toy because they do not want to put the work into finding the toy they want. Think the shopping racks at Ross, Tj Maxx, Marshalls --- it is overload!) #3- Depreciation of value and excitement occurs when something is constantly available. Chocolate is not as good if we had it everyday, all day. So, what do you do? Rotate toys out! By rotating toys out, you give them new life. It may have been 2 months since your child played with "said toy", but once they see it on their organized shelf, they will play with it just as joyfully and with such intention as they did they day they got it. Benefits of rotating toys out:
Differentiation is very simple to achieve. For example when I prepare S shelves I do two things: 1. Notice what has been interesting her lately (Is she into taking tops off containers? Is she loving animals? Has she asked for puzzles? Etc) 2. I include toys that meet different developmental needs. Let's take a look at her shelf right now: ![]() Behind the fun of playing with these toys lies this... Puzzle- helps hand-eye coordination, problem solving skills, and cognitive ability Memory game- improved focus, develops cognitive skills, and trains visual memory Doctors Kit/Hairstyling Set/ Driver's Set- improves language skills, builds vocabulary, helps develop social and emotional skills. Bristle blocks- provides sensory experience, offers creativity and problem solving practice, and builds on fine and gross motor skills. 5. Make your child(ren) a part of clean up This one is self explanatory. They made the mess, they help clean it up. Depending on your child's age, the level of participation will vary, but they should take part regardless. This takes time and consistency, but it is possible! 0-9 mo: Solely the parent, but verbally express you are cleaning up after the mess 9mo-18mo: Parent modeling and inviting child to put up a toy or 2 (often assisted) 18mo-2.5 yo: Child-led clean up with parent assistance 2.5 yo+: {Mostly}Independent clean up Your child doesn't want to clean up? -Try offering choices: Do you want to clean up the blocks first, or the action figures? -Make it a game: Let's see if we can beat the song before it ends! (Shake Señora is a fun song for this!) -Make it a race, Who can clean up their toys the fastest and neatest? -Set a timer: I'll give you 15 minutes to begin cleaning up *For older children* -Offer assistance: Let's work together, I'll clean up the dolls. What will you clean up? I hope you enjoyed todays blog post and found some insight in the tips offered. I will be sharing more tips over the next couple of weeks, so keep an eye out for more organization solutions! Thank you for the support and love!
Have a great day! -Dee
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Hello everyone! Welcome back to the blog! Today I want to share with you the Top 5 MOST played with toys in our home. I'm talkin' never get put away for rotation, freak out when I can't find them, toys. Follow along and countdown the top 5 toys in our home! I've included links to each one of the toys for you. After all, the holidays are right around the corner! #5. Wooden Peg Dolls These little figures may seem simple (aka boring), but you guys, the imagination that goes along with these is so fun to observe. Because they have no face or details, S has the opportunity to delve into her play world and allow them to be just about whoever or whatever she wants them to be. Peg dolls are a typical Waldorf Education toy, one that allows creativity and freedom. These peg dolls find their way into about every crevice of our home... and maybe her grandparents, as well! What's the best part of these, other than freedom of creativity? Wooden peg dolls are inexpensive and can be designed, if you wish. I've included an example photo down below. Check out some different peg doll styles, here! #4. Baby Dolls S LOVES babies, real or fake! This baby here is a special one. We got S a MALE baby doll about the time O joined our family. We wanted her to have a "baby" she could care for alongside me. Baby dolls are a great practical life toy that help to teach care and empathy. She even has a rocking bassinet that she lays him to sleep in. Baby doll diapers even help develop those fine motor skills! It is the sweetest to see her kiss, hug, and nurse, yes-nurse, her baby. If only I could get her to be that sweet to her bother... #3. Balance Board Toddlers are all about big, gross motor movement and S is no exception. She loves climbing on the couch, throwing the cushions on the floor, and jumping/rolling over them. Balance boards are a great gross motor toy that help build balance and agility. We got ours off this Etsy shop, but you can also find some here. What makes the balance board even better is the ability to use it for other play. Check out some of the ways we use the balance board in our home! #2. Picasso Magnet Tiles Okay, so these are FUN! I love magnet tiles. We have tried other brands, but so far I really like the quality of these. They play into my creative side! As I mentioned in my last blog post, of the little things I do with S in regards to typical "play", this is my FAVORITE. I sometimes use these without her {cue the shrugged shoulder emoji}. S is not quite in the building models stage, but she enjoys us building things alongside her... and then completely demolishing them. She also loves to stack all of the pieces to see how tall of a tower she can make before it topples over. These can be used in SO many ways. We have made baby cribs, cars, castles, peg doll houses, barns, trains, and more! I have a few ideas I want to share involving these in the future so keep an eye out for that! #1. KiwiCo Doctor's Kit I would like to specify that S has 3, yes 3, different doctors kits, but for whatever reason the KiwiCo kit is where it is at! This doctors set is #1 on the list because it is played with several times a day, EVERY DAY. I am not exaggerating. She loves this thing so.dang.much. I am a patient AT LEAST 10 times a day, followed by dad when he gets home, and baby O and any doll in the house can be seen in between. In fact, almost any KiwiCo toy she has received gets played with like this. Although it didn't make the list, she has a steering wheel set that she received a few months ago that is STILL being played with up to now. If you have not tried KiwiCo, give it a shot. Maybe get a box for the holidays or a birthday, I don't think you will be disappointed. I hope you enjoyed our Top 5 Toys countdown. I would love to know some of your child's or grandchildren's favorite toys! Comment below or find me on Instagram to share! @myviewofmontessori This page contains affiliate links. Thank you for your support!
This is going to come as a shock.. I HATE to play. Well, I hate imaginary play. I struggle to pretend. I lose focus quickly. I get bored so. darn. fast. When I hear her say "Mom, play with me" I cringe. Anxiety wells up. Yet, I do it everyday... or at least I try. The teacher in me knows just how important pretend play is for children. I know pretend play offers real-life application, exposure to problem-solving skills, modeling how to handle emotions, and introduction to educational concepts they will later use. But guys... ugh, it is just the worst. It just does not come naturally to me. If I am being honest, I engage in a little pretend play with S. It's like eating the lima beans on my plate... I just don't. My extent for pretend play with S is tea time and blocks/magnet tiles. Those are about as imaginative as I can get. I don't know if I forgot how to play or if I was a teacher to older students for so long that all I remember is a different kind of "play", but activities that involve "learning", and I say that so lightly because I realize now that PLAY is LEARNING for children, are my jam. I love getting down with a good sensory/art project, also! Oh, and don't forget books! Books are a passion of mine. I basically had my own library when I was a teacher. Put some paint, chalk, or play-doh in front of me and I can play for hours. It's the creative side of me. I love putting my rendition on things or ideas. I can turn all 3 of those into an academic lesson in 1/2 a second! Put a doll house/barn with some figures in front of me, and I freeze. What are the dolls/animals supposed to say or do? I have move them around and pretend? Yuck. But like I said before, I do it. I do it for S because I know those little eyes and that brain are so intently watching my every move. More than playing with that barn, she is seeing how I handle myself when asked to do something I don't love doing. She is learning more ways to play from the interactions with ME. Her vocabulary is ever-growing because of the fact that I take at the very least 10 minutes to engage in her play.
I have a secret... I LOVE playing imaginary games with my daughter because I get a peek into her world. I get to see life through her eyes, and it reminds me to not take life so seriously, even if in that moment. You splatter toothpaste all over it as you brush your teeth. You contemplate changing your outfits several times in front of one. You use one to change lanes or check behind you as you weave through rush hour traffic. Mirrors: they are more than vanity When considering toys for children mirrors are often overlooked, but they are crucial to development! Mirrors provide children sensory input and environmental exploration from such a young age. Benefits of using mirrors with babies (0 to 17 months): When babies are born, they can visually see 8 to 12 inches in front of them. This is the approximate distance from breast to mothers face, no mere coincidence! For this reason, babies are interested in faces. This makes mirrors a great tool for exploration because they are able to explore a face... their own! As they detail the movements and facial expressions of the child in the mirror {themselves} they inadvertently learn cause and effect. Mirrors help support head strength when used during tummy time because they are more likely to lift their head and keep it up so that they can look at their reflection, although it is believed they will not recognize it is themselves until about 18 months of age. Building the strength to hold themselves up during tummy time develops the core strength needed to eventually scoot, crawl, and sit up. Mirror use during tummy time also helps babies to explore the environment around themselves. They are able to visually track the items that are reflected in the mirror as their vision improves. They are able to explore the angles of the room, as well! All of these things help with spatial awareness in the future. As babies become more mobile, they will further enjoy the benefits of mirrors. They will crawl up to the mirror to explore the baby being reflected and continue to learn that cause and effect relationship. You might even consider placing a bar across the mirror to aid the child in pulling up and standing, as pictured here. Sensory input will be heightened as they slap and hit the mirror.** **BE SURE TO USE A GLASS-FREE MIRROR FOR CHILDREN** Mirrors and Toddlers (18 months+): I think it is safe to say that almost everyone can agree, toddlers LOVE to look at themselves. Perhaps there is a little vanity involved, but do not be fooled. There is a lot more going on other than a "Check me out, I am adorable!" mentality. Mirrors up to this point have provided sensory input and exploration of the environment for the child. Around 18 months, the mirror now serves a role and purpose. Toddlers come learn the uses for mirrors such as to brush teeth, brush their hair, and to dress themselves. Not to mention, making faces and playing around with the mirror is also a lot of fun! I cannot encourage enough the addition of a mirror in your child's room. As a toddler, mirrors help to support independence as they learn to care for themselves, as seen above. S is mostly independent in her care. Mirrors help S to explore her body, her movements, and her environment. -She has learned that she can see me in her closet when she is on her bed, simply by looking at her mirror. Hello, science lesson in light reflection! -When listening to music, she stands in front of the mirror watching herself dance, oftentimes giggling away at her "crazy" moves. -S practices language, both verbal and facial expression, by looking at herself in the mirror. -S has learned beauty and acceptance of herself by having a mirror in her room. Mirror Options: Wall mounted mirrors are one crucial option when it comes to offering a reflective surface. With that said, there are other options available that might be more engaging or offer unique perspectives for your little ones. I have included some below, with links to the product for you to explore! Mirror Placement: As I bring this blog to a close, I wanted to be sure I cover the topic of mirror placement. So often, as with most items in our home, mirrors are typically placed high up and out of reach for children. More often than not, young children have to either be hoisted up or use a step stool to see themselves. This unfortunately does not encourage independence or exploration. I ask you to consider placing at least 1 mirror at your child's height. Get on your knees, see the world from the perspective of your child. The simple act of bringing down objects to their height not only shows them respect, but acceptance that just like you, they have a role and place in the home. In our home, we have 4 mirrors placed at the height of S or O. One is in her room, another in our bathroom because she has no stool to stand on, another by the front door, and one that can be moved anywhere in the home when needed. This allows S to explore and inspect whenever she feels the desire or need. This gives her liberty. Montessori stressed the importance of creating an environment for children where they felt invited and empowered. To do this, they must be able to interact and engage with the environment with ease. Hence placing mirrors {and other items, but more on that later} at THEIR height. I can assure you, your child will find so much delight in their newfound freedom to explore. As I mentioned before, please be sure to use GLASS-FREE mirrors with small children. Thanks for reading todays blog! Be on the lookout for a new blog post every Sunday!
Technology is a huge part of the American culture, and I would safely say in most developed parts of the world, as well. Technology consumes our daily lives. While it provides some amazing services, it most definitely has its pit falls. When I chose to implement a Montessori lifestyle, one of the first things to go was usage of TV. I rarely put it on for S as an infant, mostly for music, but I stopped that, as well. As S has gotten older, I have allowed limited TV ONLY {we don’t do iPads or computers}. Prior to pregnancy, S would watch about 15-30 minutes every couple of days. As pregnancy progressed, I allowed more to cope and to fill the time, especially with COVID. She would average about an hour a day, plus whatever dad would watch {mostly COVID news} which she would glance at everything now and then. That is when I began to see her behavior change. Screens can have a negative impact on children’s brains, especially those under 2. Aric Sigman, an associate fellow of the British Psychological Society and a Fellow of Britain’s Royal Society of Medicine, explains screens may unintentionally hinder their still-developing brains. Too much screen time too soon, he says, “is the very thing impeding the development of the abilities that parents are so eager to foster through the tablets. The ability to focus, to concentrate, to lend attention, to sense other people’s attitudes and communicate with them, to build a large vocabulary—all those abilities are harmed.”-Psychology Today As a Teacher, I can attest to some of the negative outcomes Sigman refers to. My students lacked attention to lessons unless they included something on the screen. Interestingly though, those lessons fell second to those that included hands-on work. When my students watched a video or used iPads or computers, many seemed to adorn that "deer in headlights", distant stare. When they completed something tactile, hands-on, their eyes lit up, they wore smiles, and laughs and squeals packed our classroom. I am not saying children should never have screens or be introduced to technology, but I definitely feel it is overly used. And definitely at way too young of an age. I get its allure, it makes it easier to get things done. Trust me, I get it. But I wanted better options. As we allowed more screen time with S, We noticed more tantrums, less desire to be physical, more exhaustion, and so many requests for more TV. That’s when Fun Friday was born. Fun Friday is my "cure" to S’ addiction to TV. Every Friday we watch a movie of S' choice {pre-screened, of course}. We make a night of it all. I make a dinner related to the theme of the movie, we make a special dessert, and we get to eat in the living room. S looks forward to Fridays because she knows she gets to watch TV, but we look forward to it because it is our special family time.
For example, this past weekend we watched Frozen. We made homemade pizza dough and created our own pizzas. For dessert we made a traditional Scandinavian dessert, Kladdkaka! It was delicious! Check out the super simple recipe, here! We even invited Grammie and PawPaw over for the event! While S loves Fun Fridays, she does ask for TV here and there. As a compromise, she will sometimes watch my Montessori bloggers with me. She gets to see their children learning and playing since she isn't getting much interaction with other children right now! Otherwise, during the week she simply plays on her own, we go outside, or I provide activities to occupy her time. Allowing children to be bored really helps to ignite their imagination. It takes time, but it is worth the effort. I want to mention, it is YOUR choice as a parent, and I completely respect that. We have to do whats best for our families, whatever that may be. My aim is simply to inform and share ideas you may find helpful! Check out the pictures of our previous Fun Friday below when we watched Trolls! Time. It’s relative. It’s abstract. It’s fleeting.
Time is a funny thing. In a minutes time you can: 🔹wash a plate 🔹wipe off your bathroom mirror 🔹reheat leftovers All of those simple, minute, things take the same amount of time to achieve. Now consider the following situations also lasting 1 minute... 🔺running up a hill 🔺holding your breath 🔺watching your child having a seizure That was our reality just one week ago. One minute would have been a sigh of relief. One minute would have felt brief. Our reality was not 1 minute. Our reality was a seizure lasting over 30 minutes. Our reality felt as though it were lifetime. Our reality completely changed that day. This blog post is the hardest for me to write, but I feel it’s important to share. If you relate to this story, please reach out. I would love to hear from you, share experiences and research, and just support one another. I will share an account of what I hope to be worst day of my life because I can’t bear to imagine anything worse. Our Friday evening ended like any other, dad putting S to sleep after her bedtime routine. She was fine, healthy, absolutely no warning signs. In fact, S woke up at 2 am needing to use the toilet, still completely healthy. Saturday morning I woke up early to bathe before everyone woke up. I took my time, feeling like myself for the first time in a while. We were going to my in-laws for breakfast, so I began to pack the kids bag. I had to go into S’ room for clothes so I quietly tried to wake her up. Like so many other mornings, she didn’t want to wake up so I decided to give her a few more minutes. I grabbed clothes from her closet and stepped out. About 15 minutes later I sent in my husband to wake S up. This is when our nightmare began. I was outside when he came to me running saying I needed to come in NOW. As I ran inside he yelled "Something wasn’t right!" S was in his arms. My heart immediately sank. He showed me her face. Her eyes were open, pupils completely dilated, twitching from left to right, and her arms were convulsing. As soon as I saw her state, I knew it was a seizure. In a panic he asked what we should do, so I yelled to go to the hospital, now! It took 1 minute. 1 minute to find our baby in that state. It felt like a lifetime. In a whim I grabbed O, put him in his car seat, and ran to the truck where they were waiting for me. From finding her to loading O in the truck took probably 5 minutes. The drive to the hospital is about 10 minutes, in which S continued to seize the entire time. Initially she was able to sit up, seizing, but then her head dropped and she began to drool profusely. The stress and tension of that car ride set off an immediate migraine. Tears streamed down both our faces, there was yelling and screaming begging for lights to change faster. We were petrified. We were petrified we might loose our baby on the way to the hospital. We were petrified that if she did make it, the brain damage she would sustain from such a long seizure would be irreparable. The drive felt like forever. Once we arrived, I ran to the ER, and the most amazing nurse took S from me and rushed her to a room where doctors and nurses began to work on her. My husband and son could not be with me, to help me cope through this due to COVID so I stood alone, weary, absolutely heart-broken as I watched for another 15 minutes as the medical team was finally able to stop the seizure. That, that made time seem infinite. In that moment I wanted so badly for time to stand still. I wanted to go back to 2 am when I kissed S goodnight and told her she was brave, she was strong, and could go back to sleep on her own. Instead I wished I had held her tight and stayed so I could be there to protect her. In that moment, every part of me felt guilt and blame for not being there when it happened, for not seeing warning signs I believed there were. Once S was stabilized, the doctors did a CT scan and toxicology report to be sure there wasn’t brain damage/or injury nor the presence of medications she shouldn’t have. By he grace of God, everything came back normal. She suffered no brain damage. S was later transported to the children’s hospital on the other side of town to continue running tests and to be monitored. It was 9:30 a.m, when we arrived at the hospital with S, because of meds, she didn’t wake up until almost 4 p.m. that afternoon. Seeing that sweet girls eyes and smile made the world right again. After an immense amount of prayer, a CT scan, 2 toxicology reports, and MRI, and spinal tap, an EKG, and EEG, a myriad of questions, and so many other tests, it was deemed an unknown cause for her seizure. Because of the length of her seizure and the difficulty of getting her out, S will need to take anti-seizure medication for at least 2 years and we must carry emergency seizure medication with us at all times in the event she has one despite being on meds. More precautions will have to be taken in regards to play and water now that she has experienced a seizure. This will be a hard one for her since she is so active, but we will make due. Our life has completely changed as a result of this event. We are more thankful, more loving, more cautious, and just more trusting in the power of God. S is doing wonderfully {in fact, she experienced another explosion of language upon coming out of this?!}. She handled the hospital stay and testing so well. You would have never known she had a seizure. Unfortunately for her father and I, and grandparents too, we won’t be the same. Time. It’s relative. It’s abstract. It’s fleeting. Time is a precious thing. It took one minute, one minute to completely have our view and appreciation for the life of S to be transformed. In a minutes time, I thought we had lost all time with her. I never want to feel that again. We have always called her our baby angel, but there is no doubt now that she is our blessing. First off, I am happy to be back on the blog! The last 6 weeks have been a little busy, to the say the least! Todays {kind-of lengthy} blog is about our transition as a family of 3 to a family of 4. I will share all of the highs and lows up until now. I hope that someone will be able to relate to our experience or at the very minimum feel a sense a validation. Here is our little 1 month old, cutie! Planning for O: When Justin and I decided in October of 2019 to expand our family I visualized our daughter snuggling up to her brother, helping care for him, and teaching him so much. I knew there would be difficult times, but S has such an adaptable disposition, is well-behaved, and absolutely loves babies. I honestly felt the transition would go smoothly. Fast forward to today, those thoughts are fleeting. I feel a little hopeless and drained, but my heart is simultaneously full. What I didn't know in October of 2019 was that we would be facing a pandemic 4 months later that would change every aspect of our lives. I didn't know that S would lose her playmate, a 4 year old boy that I was watching for a teacher friend for the last 2 years. He was a constant in her life and now he was gone. I didn't know that S would go from solely having mom home to having dad home everyday, as well. Lastly, I didn't know that we would finally decide to sell our home to continue our goal of staying home with our kiddos. Why are those events valid? They changed and set the tone for the arrival of O. While S was so excited for the baby that was in my belly, at 2.5, she truly didn't know the implications of the addition to our family. Those events would alter S and her lifestyle in many ways before O would even make his arrival. She absolutely loves her baby brother, but the transition has been a tad more difficult than I anticipated. Bringing O home: On June 26th we welcomed baby O to our family. He is the perfect addition and is a spitting image of his sister. While his demeanor is completely different than hers, he is also a wonderful baby. The first few days with O went as well as we could have planned. S smothered him with kisses and hugs and wanted to help in every facet she could. The girl is obsessed with the Diaper Genie, she wanted to put ALL the trash in it, haha! Despite wanting me to put her to bed, something she had become accustom to, she willingly followed her bedtime routine with Dada. Things were going well. S' Feelings: About 4 days into being a new family of 4, things took a quick turn. Although S remained loving to her brother, some of her actions became aggressive. She, {seemed} to be purposely doing things to him that we asked her not to do, like running at him full speed to give him a rough kiss. I have encouraged her to show affection by kissing the back of his head, belly, or feet and modeled to her the tenderness both on him and her hand, but she is still working on the pressure and gentleness of her affection. At one point, she threw a toy at him while running through the living room to her room. I know enough about childhood psychology to know that none of these things were malicious in nature nor necessarily intended, but it made things difficult none the less. The addition of a sibling is considered a traumatic event for children, so I expected some difficulty. I feel as parents we can anticipate behaviors to change, but when adding in the factors of lack of sleep, physical recovery, and in our case a pandemic that has caused us to be secluded from the world, you cannot truly grasp the magnitude in which things can change. While I try to make it a point to spend spurts of quality time with S while O is sleeping, it does not seem to be enough. She rarely independently plays anymore. She wants me or dad to do everything with/for her, things she used to do on her own are now the greatest feats for her. At times, it feels like she is rejecting me. I have noticed that when she is doing activities with me that I know she is capable of doing she becomes increasingly aggravated and gives up quickly. She verbally expresses she is frustrated, but refuses to try and throws the items around. This was not the S I knew before O made his arrival... Bedtime has become hell on Earth. She scream for me, kicks and hits her dad who tries to console her, and is taking over an hour to settle to bed. While she eventually calms down with Dada, who had begun bedtime routine with her prior to O's arrival, it has become a grueling process. S used to go to sleep without us being in the room, but now she needs my husband to stay with her in order to fall asleep. Again, this is not the S I knew. My Feelings: I feel it's important to mention my feelings, and those of my husbands, because just as the transition is difficult for children, it is for the parents, as well. First and foremost, leading up to O and especially after bringing O home, I felt an immense amount of guilt. I would be lying if I say I still don't. I feel guilt that S is not receiving the attention she once had from me. While I am not big on partaking in her play, I love offering her activities and going outdoors with her, but between recovering from a difficult second c-section, having a newborn, temperatures being well in the 100's where we live, and quarantining in a pandemic, I cannot be the mother I want to be to both my babies. I feel guilt that S' 2 year old life has drastically changed from month to month, something I obviously cannot control but so desperately wish I could. It has caused me a lot of angst and led to many many tears over the last 4 weeks. (Thanks, hormones). My husband struggles with me crying, so this has led to a lot of anxiety and pain for him because he loves me and doesn't want to see me hurt. Her change in behavior has also made connecting with her difficult. I love S, regardless of this phase, but my patience is thin, I am tired, and I want so badly for our moments together to be sweet and fun, but sometimes they just are not. While I know so much in my head about children and their development, my heart still aches in this situation. I know that much of this behavior is normal and expected, but it does not make the process any easier. I am just holding on, waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel, because I know it WILL come to an end. Sooner than later would be better though! 😭 The Positives: Despite the difficult transition, there are obviously many positives. First and foremost, we have sweet O. He is a good baby, definitely a mommas boy that wants all the cuddles. He has a sister who loves him dearly and it shows. Whenever she leaves and comes back, he is the first one she goes to for a kiss. It is so heart-warming and makes those tough moments oh-so worth it. Secondly, we are healthy. In the midst of a surge in COVID-19 cases where we live, we find ourselves well in every sense of the word. I am thankful that we have food on the table, a roof over our head, and my husband still has a job to provide for our family. Thirdly, but definitely not lastly, I have a husband and family who are nothing but loving and supportive throughout all of this process. I know that with them by my side we will get through this phase. My heart is overflowing. I would love to know how your children dealt with the addition of a new sibling! What did you do to help them cope? How long did it last... or will it end? Haha. Share in the comments below!
Modeling a lesson:
Boy, this post will not come easy for me. We are trained to want perfection and elude that. Especially on social media. We want our children to be successful and for it to shine through, no mistake. I made a promise to share our journey, and in my IG bio it clearly states “...small, simple, and raw.” So I am here, doing just that... Today I eagerly set up my new “shadows” activity for S. In recent months she has discovered her shadow so I figured I would create an activity with her block animals featuring their shadows. She would have to match the shadow to the animal based on its shape, which most have a similar shape posing a greater challenge for her. I sat down with her, camera in tow to share with you all, and this is how it went {Click the first image}... This is the reality of a first introduction to a material. I praised when I rarely do. She was focused on the camera, not the activity. She matched the wrong pair, but if you watch you’ll notice she caught her mistake as she went on. Finally, she lost interest... cue the adorable smirk into the camera at the end. Was I disappointed? A little. Did I want her to keep trying? Yes. Did I make her come back and finish? No. I have learned that I need to follow her lead. Perhaps later today or tomorrow she will pick up this activity off the shelf and complete it. Perhaps she won’t. But when she is ready, I’ll be there to try again because that’s the raw, honest truth. Sometimes our efforts go unfulfilled or unnoticed, but to impose something upon our children that they don’t want (unless necessary, of course) is not respecting them. This is the promise I want to keep to my children...I promise that it will always be ok to not want or do something in the moment, to pretend with me. I promise to love you as you are. ❤️ In the end, S chose to work with a math material she found in our materials closet. Practical Life: Bike Washing 🚲
I saw this activity on one of the Vlogs I follow on YouTube and knew right away that it would be a hit with S. She had a blast washing her bike! As I observed S detailing every inch of her bike, making sure it had been diligently scrubbed, something occurred to me. Even the most menial tasks that I complete each day are teaching her something. By picking up piece of paper that falls on the ground, or cleaning the kitchen counter, down to painting my nails is setting an example. In that moment I realized how crucial modeling care of the environment and myself was, even to a 2 year old. If I am being honest, S has probably never seen me wash my car {which will be changing soon}. I realized how I may be failing her in that aspect of life. It may not seem important now, but one day she will own a car of her own and I want her to take pride in her items, whatever they are, and to respect them. It's funny how Montessori pressed the importance of observing the child as a means to learn about them, but that same observation can cause you to turn the mirror in and look at yourself, as well. With all that said, S had a sparkling clean bike at the end of this activity. She even washed her infant jungle gym structure that we are saving for O! Just when I thought we were ready to go in, something amazing happened! This little nugget taught herself to ride her bike-independently. Look at the joy on her face when she realized what she accomplished on her own. ❤️ 💧If you happen to take a walk into a primary Montessori classroom, one of the works you will observe is children practicing transferring objects from one container to another. This may vary in many ways from the type of material being transferred, the tool being used to transfer, and size of the materials and/or containers themselves.
💧Water (wet) transfer is not something new for S, but she generally pours larger amounts into larger containers. For example, S uses a standard measuring cup to pour 1/2 a cup of milk into a breakfast bowl when making her {almost daily} oatmeal. This is a task she has mastered and does with ease. 💧So now we are working on fine tuning the skill by using small containers with controlled amounts of water. The decanter from the online shop, For Small Hands, is perfect for her little hands. She is able to properly grip the glass giving her control. She loved being able to pour back and forth between between the two containers. 💧When setting up transfer work, you want to prepare the activity in way that anticipates any messes so that the child can clean up on their own and not be distracted from their work. In this case, I provided S with a small sponge so that any mess could be cleaned up and the water returned to the container. From my observations, I could see that she appreciated this small addition to her tray because it gave her control and she felt success being able to handle her own work- without my input or feeling shame for “making a mess.” 💧On a side note: she cracks me up with her little tongue. I’ve come to notice just how much she does it when she’s concentrating now that I’m capturing moments like these for the blog or social media. She’s just like her mama 🤪 |
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September 2020
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